Softly as I Leave You…

On 10th November my wonderful grandad passed away, i am fortunate that i had him in my life for 32 years but my heart is broken. He was a lovely grandad, he used to always bring us chocolate or pocket money and take us out at weekends… he was just a lovely guy.

Here is grandad holding Rowan last year, they had almost 90 years difference in age!


When i saw him at the hospital on Friday, he couldn’t say much due to the pain relief he was on, but he managed to ask me how Rowan was… i told him he was getting big and that he would see him soon, i knew this may be untrue but i truly hoped he would see him when we go back to visit in 2 weeks. I showed him the most recent photo i had of him,

and he laughed. I went back to the hospital on the Saturday, where all the girls were there to say our goodbyes… grandad had 2 daughters & a son, 5 granddaughters and 5 great grandchildren. My nan, mom, auntie, my sister and my 3 cousins were all there to hold his hand and reminisce about good times, his last moments with us all were full of laughter and giggles. When i left him, i asked whether it would be ok to come visit him in the morning before i went back to Devon, he smiled and said yes. We all went back to my aunties for something to eat and then went home, with the plan to go visit him in the morning.

Sadly, we got a call at 11:30pm to get to the hospital as he had took a turn for the worse, the 10 minute drive to the hospital took forever – we got to the hospital and raced up to the ward… we were too late. He passed away peacefully soon after they called us, a lovely nurse sat with him whilst he left.

I went and saw my grandad one last time, i kissed his head and stroked his brow and told him his girls were all there to see him… he looked so peaceful, no more pain or suffering – he died of multiple organ failure, his old body had had enough.

I felt fine until yesterday, i couldn’t understand why i hadn’t cried but i realised that it hadn’t sunk in. I listened to the song that we are going to play at his funeral, this is what started me off!

Grandad was a fan of Matt Monro so it’s perfect.

I am like a zombie today, i don’t know if i’m coming or going and have no inclination to eat healthy and workout… i’m just going through the motions, until i remember i will never see my lovely grandad ever again & the tears start again… I’m heartbroken…


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